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Rules For Being In the Band

You’re invited to attend the show

by musicians with their airy glow

who hand you fliers like it’s no business

but making money just to pay their rent

 

And I ain’t satisfied with these

Playing bass girl on my knees

But if you’re thinking this will give you a hand

then here’s some rules for being in the band:

 

Well, you’ve gotta have the guy with the new PA

and you gotta have the singer, retro clothes, passé

and you gotta have the drummer who can't even play

And if you’ve got a co-ed lineup, then you don’t date members of the band

 

Shiny girlfriends, Grace Slick, Cabaret

Record offices and studios in LA

Smiling faces and their teenage eyes

and I’m the only one that boy bands do despise

 

But girls like me are well in need

Got to get them off their knees

Quit doing favors with their dirty hands

and setting rules for being in the band

 

So you’d better keep it quiet when they talk about

all your busy record label and your business doubts

And as they explain it, all that you’ll find out

is if you want a happy ending then don’t date members of the band

 

Getting quiet and it’s kind of late

Writing songs about love and hate

war, peace, and things I don’t know about

Suburban songwriters will never find out

 

But I ain’t satisfied with these

Playing mind games on my knees

But if you’re thinking you can give it a shot

then here’s some things to help you starting out

 

Well, you gotta have the guy with the new PA

and you gotta have the singer, retro clothes, passé

and you gotta have the drummer who can’t even play

And if you’ve got a co-ed lineup, then you don’t date members of the band

 

I ain’t satisfied with these

Playing bass girl on my knees

But if you’re thinking this will give you a hand

then here’s some rules for being in the band

here’s some rules for being in the band

here’s some rules for being in the band





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